Everything ended

In this couple of weeks.. a lot of things happens.. I thought things will turn out good.. but seems like.. things get worse.. and i just have to admit that we were not meant to be.. She has misunderstood me so much and yet do not want to give me a chance to explain... The very first time i saw her... i have the strong feeling to protect this girl.. and wanted to take care of her.. but she is just not this type of girl..

In my heart.. i really do like her a lot.. but i could not do anything.. just cannot do anything but to remain quiet... is over... i have to move on...

one last chance

Suddenly everything changes... is like a dream.. i never ever thought that this day will happen.. unexpectedly..She finally considers me.. she gave a chance to prove and show it to her... I really do love her.. Though i am really anxious about her decision in the end... but i tell myself.. if we are meant to be.. we will be... No doubts... i will try my best to show and gave her that assurance that my heart is only her and nobody else... nothing but just because i really do love her... thanks god for giving me this chance again.. i will try my best to fight for my happiness... =) jia you!

The next time i blog.. i will tell u all the outcomes.. no matter what it is.. i will still move on.. =)

Time flies..

Is been months.. since update my blog.. actually intially realy wanted to delete this blog.. but this blog has been with me for many years.. dun feel like abandon jus like this..

For the past 3 months.. alot of things has happened.. jus all kinds ba sad happy and blah.... i have been battling obstacles and obstacles.. but finally.. i made it.. i finally accept and understand..

Though is just a short 3 months.. because of so much ups and downs.. i feel i have grown so old.. i really learnt alot ..

Hopefully things will gets better.. and thanks piggy.. u always cheer me up when i am very down... though u didn't i am down.. maybe the the angel send u here to console me.. lol! but nice talking with u.. =) oink!

All the best to me!! =) oink!!

2010~~

In this year~~ well.. there are some dark moments in my life.. during the early part of the year... but i managed to get through them and find back my focus... but i think the heaven treats me well too... let me enjoyed with my friends.. and met her... though... we 2 are not meant to be... but i feel so happy to have u company me.. i enjoyed myself tat day... this is the very first time.. tat spend my whole entire day.. just with u... there were sharing, laughter, joy, happiness and openness when i with you... I really dunno what might happen next... but.. i really appreciate the way we are now... is enough for me... but i really hope... one fine day.. she will open her heart and feel me... and hope it may not be too late..

The other thing i wanna share is that... my hard work pays off.. I strive very hard for my sch work.. and finally.. i got what i wanted.. As years pass.. i finally understand the right way suitable for me to handle school works.. maybe after so much failure.. the experiences i gained! i finally understand!

2010 is jus the next day.. would like to have some wishes in this coming year..

1.) My families healthy and happy!

2.) My friends healthy and happy!

3.) My School work and result maintain at Distinction level!

4.) Scold lesser or no bad words!

5.) Get good sales from my work!

6.) Lastly, which i will also wish every year.. but never it had come true before.. that is to find a girl that loves me with her heart and and vice versa from me too... i know is hard... but still i wanna wish for that!

Time flies... here come new challenges in the new year 2010! No matter what are the problems and obstacles are... We must always.. face them and not avoid them.. and we will definitely able to overcome them and become a better person... This is the purpose of life!

Happy new year! May all of us happy!!! =) huat ar!

merry christmas

My little dream fulfilled today.. though everything is so simple and ordinary.. but it was enough.. =)

hApPy

Eric jus came back to Singapore.. has been in Australia for almost a year ba .. suddenly becos of his return, our old friend start to gather and has lots of fun together... this kind of happiness is not everyone would have it.. so I really appreciate ... the bonding of between us is just so amazing... I hope the rest of the few weeks.. we can have more memories before eric go back to Australia.. Time is precious... and we should fill them up with happniess .. =)

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I have been battling with my heart... really dunno wat to do.... is like so hard to control... trying my best to overcome it..

but i am already quite satisfied with the current situation... and very happy with it le .. =)

do it right! with belief!

Do it like a man.. with your conscience clear... with your heart to do it right and do it good! No other shitty ways to achieve your task but your hard work with sincerity and passion!

Never regret on things I have done, cos i know I always did my best in whatever i does, and is worth while to do it!

Nothing in this world, comes easily to us... we got to fight for it... do something about it...in order to achieve what we want in our life!

Picked up yourself from where you fall, and leap, and walk and run again! Our life will move on and awaits happiness and challenge ahead..Always believe life will get more beautiful!

And things will get better... =)

Live our life with a smile!

happy!

Anyway, i am feeling happy.. cos my hard work really pays off.. Got an High Dist for accounting! Dist for Economics and a credit for marketing. But marketing i feel disappointed. I hope to get Dist too.. I really work very hard for tat past few months.. And thanks to jin jing and jia yu and jimmy and those who have helped me... xie xie..=)

Next semester is going to be even harder! I need to get back my focus! I hope to do even better! Yea!

Erm ... things are getting better... I decided not to hold grudges.. as i dun like to be angry.. is so terrible... so i just have to be forgiving.. but just let nature take it course.. though... i do feel affected by what she said to me.. i just can't believe she has the heart to say those things.. it just can't erase so easily... shitty..

Been working.. feeling so sian.. at times.. i miss my my sec sch friends.. my teng nan bb friend.. where the hell are u all? Faster finish exam lei! i wanna have a great match with u all! The laughter, sweat and brotherhood we had.. is amazing... awesome..

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I think is time... i got to let it goes.... I think we can be a really good friend... but i certainly know that u aren't the one... I just have to accept the fact...

million pieces..

Every time near the year end.. it should be a very happy season... i often get upset... Why am i always so sad.. dun i deserve to be happy?

When u told me that.. do u know... it hurts me so much and badly... maybe i am just nothing to u...

I think i shuold disappeared in your life... i will... as this is what u wanted..

hurt one more time..

I dunno what to do? i really dunno... I only know.. i want her to be happy and when she need help or anything.. she would call me..

There are always obstacles for me.. y mine can't be beautiful like others?

When she say out those comments...is like crystal breaking into million pieces... i can only hide it...

if only you want me to die to touched your heart, i would willing to die a million time to show it... but there is already good game for me... can't even show it..

you are beautiful ost

I heard this korean song from this drama.. You are beautiful

The song was so nice and it happens that they got provide translation for the songs..

The lyrics and song was nice... that it touches my heart when i hear the song and know the meaning of it.. awesome.. =)

~~~~the lyrics~~~~

Shouldn't have done it

Should have ignored it

Like it wouldn't be seen,

Like it couldn't be seen

I don't think I should have seen you

Should have run away,

Should have pretended not to hear,

like it wouldn't be heard,

like it couldn't be heard...

I shouldn't have listened to your love...

Without a word, you made me know love

Without a word, you gave me your love

Made me feel myself with your every breath,

then u ran away

Without a word love left me

Without a word love tossed me aside

Not knowing what to say,

my lips must have been surprised,

because you came without a word...

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Sometimes.. you wanted to see that person so badly... but u can't.....

fallen soul

i knew it.. i already knew it.. but i am so stubborn..

the feeling was so bad... feel so down...so sux... so lousy...so hopeless...

I can be so manly in so many aspects of decisions.. and doings.... why i am worst than anything when i comes to this....

I am just an extreme idiot.. and has been such a ultimate failure in this aspect....

I am total failure.....=''(

think too much again!

I really dunno what to do... what should i do.. what am i doing.. and what the hell am i doing?

Found that i couldn't control feelings at times! Yup.. i think i need to learn that..

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So tired nowadays.. no life at all.. one week work six days... working alone there.. feel so lonely at times.. After exam.. no rest.. straight work.. oh man... i am really tired of living at times.. cui ar.. Sometimes.. when i really need someone there for me.. there isn't any.... duh... of course.. because i dun have any~~ .. hhaha! can only grumble to my poor friends.. LOL!

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will u feel it?

~~~~

Dunno why i am so demoralized .. feeling so sux ...

I am not good enough for u...

Feeling was strong..

The feeling was so damn strong... till i do such a silly thing for her.. but luckily she didn't know.. now i understand your inner self will outshine everything.. i really truly understand now.. LOL ! Haha!

I think i will continue my silly doings.. because i know is worth it.. =)

Mr god.. please help me! LOL!

tired....

yesterday went to meet up with Rachel.. knowing that she is still doing good.. i am happy for her... hahaha.. she didn't eat.. see me eat onli.. say wanna jian fei.. typical women dialog.. LOL.. anyway.. forgotten her bday.. i am so bad ...LOL..pls pardon me.. i was too obsessed with marketing, accounting and macroeconomics....during that period.. i tink she really feel very sad tat i forgetten her bday.. hahaha.. LOL..

Today started work.. thing work quite ok.. everything goes quite ok.. today customer all like me.. smile and joke with me.. so nice..cheers my day up.. until that f*%# face woman shout at me"stop looking at ur hp!!" WTF!!! freak woman... see hp also kena from u...silly rule.. wat if anything happen at home if dun see the phone.. all brainless.. implement this kind of physco rule...haiz.. spoil my day..

Though study is tiring.. but i feel tat is more fun with them around... miss their laughter.. especially her .. LOL .. really funny.. nvm this holiday i shall work and play.. jus chill and relax my mind and get ready for next semester battle.. i am going to put in my very best!! 2 more years.. i am no longer a student anymore.. no more student privileges le.. better enjoy first! haha!

Today my mum say me... i always ask for perfection.. in terms of most of the thing.... and this kind of attitude is no good... cos u always be grumbling and nv happy with what u have...as outcome is not what u wanted..even the slightest mistake... when she say that to me,,, i didn't realize that i am tat sort of ppl?? did i? maybe i shd be lenient in certain things in my life.. dun too extreme ba.. maybe.. i will try change..

Tml is another working day... so sianz.. nothing to do now and dun feel like sleeping yet.. so share some stuff here..

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A sharp bitterness

Those images comes again... it just makes me feel so down...

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gloomy...

Dunno why... recently.. as days goes by... i feel so moody... i seem to smile and laugh... but deep in me.. i am not happy at all... pessimistic thoughts keep flooding me ... whats wrong with me?

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i hope u can come to my life..

nice and meaning ful song..

Heard karen sang this song yesterday.. very nice and touching... feel like sharing with u guys..

知道

她让你憔悴许多

她让你不知所措

她一句一动你不停的对我说

我微笑倾听你说

我却越听越心痛

怎么你说的不是我

他比我多了什么

让你愿意耐心等候

你让我憔悴很多

你让我不知所措

你一句一动我的心被牵着走

她不经意的走过

你就把我给冷落

嫉妒把我给吞没

她比我多了什么

让你愿意耐心等候

我想知道她让你痴心是什么

我想知道她让你疯狂为什么

我知道做的和她没有不同

但是我却不在你心中逗留

我想知道她哪里比我好很多

在你心中她和我有什么不同

我知道我比她付出的还多

可是我总换不了你的心动

ho~哦...

我知道了她哪里比我好很多

在你心中我永远不可能让你心动

我知道我比她付出的还多

可是我在你心中没有她多

stir emotion suddenly..

Yesterday jus finish the Econs paper... the last paper.. finally... this past few weeks.. i have been working really hard.. to do my best in the exam... Though it was realy tiring.. but i think.. is worth it.. cos i know i have tried my very best, no matter what is the result.. i have no regrets..

For the past few weeks or month... i did not sleep with peace.. did not go out chill... lock myself in the room.. after eat or bath.. then mug.. sometimes.. can't go into my mind le.. then sleep.. then wake up again.. sometimes.. really no mood le.. sleep again.. but every time the pressure and stress wakes me up again.. terrible.. During that period of time.. i often has to struggle between tiredness and studies..i tried to overcome it.. But ultimately.. i hope i can get the results.. i want..pls god!! help me!!

Today after exam.. went to bugis for singing k.. in between plan a surprise for karen.. a gal from my uni.. hehe.. i tink she really ben ben de.. i tot it was quite obvious.. but she still can't realise it.. Gave her a cake.. sang her a happy birthday song.. and take photos.. with her.. LOL.. can see that she today is so happy.. below.. u can see her blur face!!! which i find it so funny.. LOL.. anyway.. hope u enjoy ur day.. but anyway.. enjoy singing with her after they all left the k box..i hope we could have sing longer.. she is a good singer.. and this is the the first time i sing so many duets with a person.. LOL

The day has jus ended like tat... everytime.. happy times ended so fast.. haha.. but i believe there will be more to come.. anyway has to start exercising.. getting fatter and whiter!! shit!
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Some thoughts again~~

I realise that everytime.. when i feel that way...I thought i was right about what i feel... the outcome will be different..is so disappointing for me... is so hard to accept the fact sometimes... but just haf to accept... I jus do not how should i express myself to u... and i am afraid of doing it..

how good if i am older...

One down!!

Today have my marketing paper... was quite ok.. not that bad.. but i scribble any how.. write till i also dunno what i writing.. no structure at all... but luckily some of the terms i still remember.. hopefully.. my marketing result will be ok!! going to start to revise my acct le.. but before that.. wanna share a song with u all.. old and nice song which is sing by fang da tong!! Below are the lyrics..

NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE MY LOVE FOR YOU (Glenn Medeiros)

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong

Our dreams are young
And we both know they'll take us
Where we want to go

(Chorus 1)
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you

(Chorus 2)
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

(Chorus 3)
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy,
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too`

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Dedicated for those lovely couples.. =)

enjoy.. gonna chiong le!

gloomy saturday..

22nd and 23rd there are 4 ppl birthday!! My sister and jody on the 22nd of oct Guo xian and bing jie on the 23rd of oct... Happy birthday to all of u all.. haha..

studying is so tiring... especially exam time.. haix.. but jus have to bear with it man.. actually come in also dunno what to write..jus feel damn bored..

oh ya.. recently.. heard a true story from some where... is about a couple.. mmm.. When this couple is breaking up, because the guy was very "hua xin", has been flirting with lots of ladies while being with her.. and in the end he fell in love with other person..

When this couple was together.. this girl loves raining.. she will go to the rain and being drenced by the rain.. The guy often will ask her.. why u do not wan me to drenched with you under the rain at the time when they are together? She will often jus smile at him and do not want to tell him the answer.

When they are breaking up on this particular day, the guy asked her.. sorry about what i have done, but i hope we still friends.. and the guy wanted to clarify his doubts wih her, and he asked "Why you everytime like to go into the rain and being drenched and do not wan me to acc u in the rain"

The gal answered sadly "When the time i being with u, i know u are jus like the wind.. u will leave me any moment for another gal.. I was prepared.but often.. i am sad and will tear about the fact... I like to go into the rain myself is because i do not want u to know that i am crying"

When finally he realised everything... his heart sinks... but what happen next i not sure...


HAHA.. this is a true story from someone....jus share share abit.. i was kind of pity for her.. when i heard that actually she was hiding from her bf that she is crying.. by choosing to to the rain..

But anyway, hope she had a good ending... but anyway.. sometimes reality is just so cruel.. we just have to face it.. ok thats all.. got to get back with my work le.. wat a gloomy saturday for me..